Teen Binge Drinking: A Deadly Problem
On Saturday, December 21, 2013, at 9:50 PM I returned home from a Holiday Party. At 10:00 PM there was a rapid loud knocking on our front door. When my husband and I opened the door, there stood a young looking teenager wobbling and holding onto the door frame, asking “Is this where I live?”
We brought the drunk teen into our home and sat him in the closest chair, in his left hand dangled an unopened pint of vodka (the other pint we found out later was in his system!). Doing our best to keep the boy talking and giving us information he kept slipping off the chair. Before passing out he managed to slur his mother’s phone number.
The mom was horrified when I called, as were my husband and I when at that moment the young boy began to projectile vomit three times all over our walls, furniture, and on himself. This probably saved his life from alcohol poisoning.
Underage binge drinking – which is typically defined as having four or five drinks or more in under two hours – has gotten a lot of attention recently. Unfortunately, it is far more prevalent and dangerous than the passing fad or phase many adults consider it to be.
In fact, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) more than half of the 10 million children and adolescents who drink regularly are binge drinkers.
To make matters worse, most teen alcohol addictions start with “innocent” binge drinking at weekend parties at friends’ houses and other similar occasions in which teens have the opportunity to drink without adult supervision.
Of course, the possibility of addiction is only one reason to make sure your child doesn’t start binge drinking. Even if addiction wasn’t a concern, binge drinking can still cause black outs and alcohol poisoning, as well as lead to driving under the influence, drug use, violence, and sexual promiscuity.
Unfortunately, trying to convince a teenager who’s already started drinking to stop is much easier said than done. Therefore, the best thing to do is prevent binge drinking from a young age before it even begins.
We brought the drunk teen into our home and sat him in the closest chair, in his left hand dangled an unopened pint of vodka (the other pint we found out later was in his system!). Doing our best to keep the boy talking and giving us information he kept slipping off the chair. Before passing out he managed to slur his mother’s phone number.
The mom was horrified when I called, as were my husband and I when at that moment the young boy began to projectile vomit three times all over our walls, furniture, and on himself. This probably saved his life from alcohol poisoning.
Underage binge drinking – which is typically defined as having four or five drinks or more in under two hours – has gotten a lot of attention recently. Unfortunately, it is far more prevalent and dangerous than the passing fad or phase many adults consider it to be.
In fact, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) more than half of the 10 million children and adolescents who drink regularly are binge drinkers.
To make matters worse, most teen alcohol addictions start with “innocent” binge drinking at weekend parties at friends’ houses and other similar occasions in which teens have the opportunity to drink without adult supervision.
Of course, the possibility of addiction is only one reason to make sure your child doesn’t start binge drinking. Even if addiction wasn’t a concern, binge drinking can still cause black outs and alcohol poisoning, as well as lead to driving under the influence, drug use, violence, and sexual promiscuity.
Unfortunately, trying to convince a teenager who’s already started drinking to stop is much easier said than done. Therefore, the best thing to do is prevent binge drinking from a young age before it even begins.
Preventing Underage Drinking
If you love your child and are concerned about their safety, it’s never too early (or too late) to start creating an environment that helps them make the best choices possible. And the earlier you start, the better the chances your child will avoid risky behaviors like binge drinking altogether.The following are some of the important things we can all do as parents to help our children avoid binge drinking and grow into healthy, responsible adults:
Be Supportive and Available – When your child brings home a less than stellar report card, loses a baseball game, or makes any mistake, be supportive. This isn’t to say you should support your child’s drinking or other risky or inappropriate behaviors. But don’t belittle or demeaning. You can oppose your child’s actions yet still be understanding of why they did what they did as you support them to improve and do better next time. Your child needs to know that you love them and are there for them whenever they need you. Even if you’re preoccupied with something serious (job loss, separation, divorce, death in the family, etc.) make sure you’re still there for your child when he or she needs you.
Teach Your Child to Take Responsibility – While you need to be supportive of your child, this doesn’t mean you should allow him or her to make excuses, or blame others for his or her mistakes. They need to learn to accept responsibility for, and the consequences of, their actions, and do what’s right. If this includes making apologies or a loss of allowance money in order to make amends, then that is what needs to happen.
Remember You’re a Parent, Not a Friend – Your child needs you to be their parent, not their friend. They have plenty of friends at school. When you see negative behavior, address it accordingly. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you need to be authoritarian or that having a yelling match with your child is going to help. Yelling and being dictatorial is not the way to reach common ground. By providing the safe, supportive, and structured environment all children inherently crave, you’ll earn your child’s respect and actually form a stronger and closer relationship with them than you ever could by just being their friend.
Get to Know Your Child’s Friends – Given many children change friends as frequently as adults change socks, keeping track of your child’s friends may seem a daunting task. It is nonetheless important for you to do so. Talk to your children regularly about who they are hanging out with and encourage them to invite their friends over so you can meet them. Make sure you have contact information for the parents of anyone they choose to be friends with or hang out with outside of school. This can serve as a deterrent to misbehaving and, if there’s ever a problem, you have someone to contact.
Know Where Your Child Is – Knowing where your child is, who they’re with, and what they’re doing can help keep them from making poor choices. While children need to gain independence as they get older, you should still keep an eye on them. You do not want to give your child so much proverbial rope that they hang themselves. Allow them some say as to where they go and with whom, but insist that they let you know their plans ahead of time and check up on them occasionally so they know you’re interested and care.
Set the Example – You can’t really expect your child to avoid alcohol and drugs if you’re smoking, drinking and partying all week or weekend. “Do what I say, not what I do” is not an effective policy. If you drink, make sure your child sees you behaving responsibly and that you’re not engaging in binge drinking yourself. Remember, in all things, your child needs you to set the example of how you want them to behave.
What If Your Child or Teen Has Already Started Drinking?
If your child or teen’s behavior starts changing, you need to know whether or not he or she is exhibiting signs of alcohol abuse, some of which include:
If you see signs of alcohol abuse, talk to a medical or mental health professional who specializes in helping teens. Dealing with a child who’s drinking isn’t easy. But, while some sort of alcohol rehab, teen counseling, or family therapy may be necessary, underage drinking is one of those problems that’s likely to get worse unless you act quickly.
If you love your child and are concerned about their safety, it’s never too early (or too late) to start creating an environment that helps them make the best choices possible. And the earlier you start, the better the chances your child will avoid risky behaviors like binge drinking altogether.The following are some of the important things we can all do as parents to help our children avoid binge drinking and grow into healthy, responsible adults:
Be Supportive and Available – When your child brings home a less than stellar report card, loses a baseball game, or makes any mistake, be supportive. This isn’t to say you should support your child’s drinking or other risky or inappropriate behaviors. But don’t belittle or demeaning. You can oppose your child’s actions yet still be understanding of why they did what they did as you support them to improve and do better next time. Your child needs to know that you love them and are there for them whenever they need you. Even if you’re preoccupied with something serious (job loss, separation, divorce, death in the family, etc.) make sure you’re still there for your child when he or she needs you.
Teach Your Child to Take Responsibility – While you need to be supportive of your child, this doesn’t mean you should allow him or her to make excuses, or blame others for his or her mistakes. They need to learn to accept responsibility for, and the consequences of, their actions, and do what’s right. If this includes making apologies or a loss of allowance money in order to make amends, then that is what needs to happen.
Remember You’re a Parent, Not a Friend – Your child needs you to be their parent, not their friend. They have plenty of friends at school. When you see negative behavior, address it accordingly. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you need to be authoritarian or that having a yelling match with your child is going to help. Yelling and being dictatorial is not the way to reach common ground. By providing the safe, supportive, and structured environment all children inherently crave, you’ll earn your child’s respect and actually form a stronger and closer relationship with them than you ever could by just being their friend.
Get to Know Your Child’s Friends – Given many children change friends as frequently as adults change socks, keeping track of your child’s friends may seem a daunting task. It is nonetheless important for you to do so. Talk to your children regularly about who they are hanging out with and encourage them to invite their friends over so you can meet them. Make sure you have contact information for the parents of anyone they choose to be friends with or hang out with outside of school. This can serve as a deterrent to misbehaving and, if there’s ever a problem, you have someone to contact.
Know Where Your Child Is – Knowing where your child is, who they’re with, and what they’re doing can help keep them from making poor choices. While children need to gain independence as they get older, you should still keep an eye on them. You do not want to give your child so much proverbial rope that they hang themselves. Allow them some say as to where they go and with whom, but insist that they let you know their plans ahead of time and check up on them occasionally so they know you’re interested and care.
Set the Example – You can’t really expect your child to avoid alcohol and drugs if you’re smoking, drinking and partying all week or weekend. “Do what I say, not what I do” is not an effective policy. If you drink, make sure your child sees you behaving responsibly and that you’re not engaging in binge drinking yourself. Remember, in all things, your child needs you to set the example of how you want them to behave.
What If Your Child or Teen Has Already Started Drinking?
If your child or teen’s behavior starts changing, you need to know whether or not he or she is exhibiting signs of alcohol abuse, some of which include:
- Personality changes
- New friends
- Changes in sleeping or eating habits
- Loss of interest in school or activities
- Negative attitude
- Risky, inappropriate, or secretive behaviors
If you see signs of alcohol abuse, talk to a medical or mental health professional who specializes in helping teens. Dealing with a child who’s drinking isn’t easy. But, while some sort of alcohol rehab, teen counseling, or family therapy may be necessary, underage drinking is one of those problems that’s likely to get worse unless you act quickly.
As a parent, your child’s health is important to you and it’s your responsibility to see that your child gets the help and support they need.
Talk to your child about alcohol, drinking, and how alcohol can affect them. By discussing the subject with them openly, you ensure your child gets his or her information from you as opposed to just their friends and they know it’s okay to talk.
By encouraging conversation and creating a home in which your child feels safe and nurtured, you encourage them to live up to family rules and expectations. Doing so may be your best bet, not only in preventing binge drinking, but for helping them grow into a responsible, well-adjusted adult.
Talk to your child about alcohol, drinking, and how alcohol can affect them. By discussing the subject with them openly, you ensure your child gets his or her information from you as opposed to just their friends and they know it’s okay to talk.
By encouraging conversation and creating a home in which your child feels safe and nurtured, you encourage them to live up to family rules and expectations. Doing so may be your best bet, not only in preventing binge drinking, but for helping them grow into a responsible, well-adjusted adult.