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Old Habits Die Hard
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"Sometimes, Old Habits Die Hard: Here's What You Can Do"
Some wise person once observed, "Under stress you will regress." Change is stressful and we've been been dealing with a lot it lately. Have you noticed how, during this period of great social change, some old habits have returned? Comfort eating, Netflix binging, difficulty getting out of bed, or drinking a few more beers than planned can come on strong in times like these. They are conditioned, old default patterns of thought and behavior reasserting their control, stimulated by personal and social stress. |
If you are experiencing the returning of old and, in the long run, unhealthy habits, you are not alone. Are you following through with your plans to exercise or do you delay this for as long as possible? Did you make your bed, read the book you promised yourself? When old habits begin to creep in from the dark corners of our mind, so do the old ways of thinking and feeling about ourselves. You don't really want to go back there, right?
Fear Not!! Here are 4-steps you can take that will get you back on track to your happy place:
So write down what your old default voice is saying to reinstitute and normalize the old habit. Pause and write down why you like living free from those old, unhelpful and unhealthy habits that die hard. Then after you write it down, put it somwhere where you can see it. Keep it around as a handy mental tool to help you when you need to find your way back a healthy mind.
- Identify your "Default Voice." This is the voice in your head that rationalizes, minimizes, excuses, justifies, intellectualizes, why you are doing the very thing you well know is not good for you. It is the voice that manipulate or blames you or those you care for in order to keep the habit active and in control. Maybe you stay in bed past 9:00 am. It could be that you shop online and buy things you don't need. Perhaps you are more likely to press "send" on an angry email before letting your words simmer down overnight. During such stressful times, emotions can be a bit tricky to navigate and your "default voice" will appear. But when it happens consider this: how the old default voice alters how you feel and think about yourself actually compounds the stress you are experiencing. This in turn only amplifies the power of the default voice. So it can big personal dividends to pay close attention to what you are actually thinking and doing in times like these. During times of stress and unanticipated interruptions in routine remind yourself to identify these old habits and the voice that supports them before they become any stronger. Be care-full, for fhat you say to yourself that goes unnoticed may lead you down an familiar but unpleasant path and needless suffering.
- Pause, Write and Say it Out Loud. Once you have begun to identify these old negative thoughts and behaviors--defended and reinforced by your default voice-- stop everything. Seriously, put aside your Trader Joe's trip for a few minutes. After all, the store is still going to have a long line 10-minutes from now. Remind yourself that you are worth fighting for! So, right now, in this very state of awareness, observe what you are thinking and doing and press pause. Pull out your phone or notepad and write down what your default voice is saying. Is it saying "I'll start tomorrow" or, "I've had a long day one more won't hurt" or "Just this once?" Write all these old thoughts down, then say them out loud. When you hear your own voice say the very thing you have fought to free yourself from it sounds kind of scary, right? You can now see the power of these old voices and the choice you have to fight them.
- Re-Connect. As you become more fully conscious of those naughty default voices you can take mental action to redirect and re-connect with the positive changes you have made in your life. So, let's re-connect. With the same notepad write down all of the good reasons why you don't want to listen to the old default voices. Write down and complete this statement. "Why I like living free from my old habit is . . ." If your old habit is to snack after dinner, write down all of the freedoms and good feelings you experience by not engaging in this behavior. For example: "I enjoy not feeling so full in the morning," or "I am relieved from the shame or guilt that comes with overloading on unnecessary calories. If your old habit is procrastinating on projects around the house, then try writing down all of the benefits that actually come to you when you tackle your 'to do' list.
- Re-Commit. It wasn't that long ago when you felt free from the default voice that creeped in and caused mental and emotional havoc. It is important for you to remember that you haven't lost any of the new positive patterns of thought and behavior you've created for yourself. They've just been pushed out of the way by the old default voice. These new neural pathways still exist, you just need to take some time to re-connect with them and re-commit to them. When we use our intention to put our thoughts into actions, we are staying actively committed to that which is in our own best interest. Merely telling yourself, "I'll start my clean eating plan today" is not enough. It is still too passive, However, when you add "and this is what I am doing to begin clean eating and this is why I am going to take these actions," you are asserting more active control. For example, read this aloud and listen to the active voice in it: "I am making this vegetable salad to nourish my body because I want to feel good about myself and have my mind quiet. and clear." Do you hear the commitment? Now write your own re-commitment statement and keep doing this until you are living it again.
So write down what your old default voice is saying to reinstitute and normalize the old habit. Pause and write down why you like living free from those old, unhelpful and unhealthy habits that die hard. Then after you write it down, put it somwhere where you can see it. Keep it around as a handy mental tool to help you when you need to find your way back a healthy mind.
